Brunching like a boss? Yes, please! There’s nothing quite like waking up late on a Saturday, throwing on your comfiest clothes, and whipping up a delicious spread of yummy favorites. If you really want to take your brunch game to the next level, let’s discuss the ins and outs of hosting the ultimate brunch (like the true boss that you are!)
Make Your Menu
First things first, let’s talk about the menu. Brunch is all about balance, so make sure to include both sweet and savory options. Think pancakes and bacon, eggs benedict, fruit salad, and maybe even a breakfast quiche if you’re feeling fancy. And of course, don’t forget the fresh squeezed orange juice and coffee!
This savory goodness called Bacon & Cheese Quiche (I make my own gluten-free crust, but you could also use a tube of biscuit dough and lay in the bottom of the pan and pour the egg mixture on top! It is so flavorful and yummy. Add some spinach to get in an easy green, too!)
Biscuits and gravy, waffles, and toast with jam are some other favorites around our table!
Set Your Table
Next up, let’s talk decor. You don’t need to break the bank to create a beautiful brunch spread. Simple touches like fresh flowers, colorful napkins, and a well-arranged charcuterie board can go a long way in creating a warm and inviting atmosphere.
Try placing some cut wildflowers in a small vase and placing it at the center of the table. Place on top of a cute cutting board or serving tray along with toppings and seasonings in matching bowls.
I often use things like:
Salt & pepper shakers
A butter dish with spreader
Jam in a remekin with a spoon or knife
Shredded cheese
Crumbled bacon
Extra Icing
Chocolate Chips
Salad dressing
Coffee Creamer
Make sure every place setting has a plate, fork, knife, spoon, cup, napkin, and mug!
Ace Your Aesthetic
The key to acing your aesthetic is keeping it simple. For me, I like the neutral look. Bright whites, warm and rich earthy tones, and when it comes to “pops of color” I like to use natural elements like the bright redness of a strawberry, the beautiful yellow of a lemon, or the vibrant hues of wildflowers or greenery, like eucalyptus.
I find it most simple to use all white dishes. Serving dishes, dinner plates, ramekins, etc- I use all white. They are easy to come by in thrift stores, too, making for a totally affordable aesthetic for hosting brunch!
Don’t just think dinner plates and serving bowls. Those little ramekin dishes, trays, and trivets are wonderful for adding different heights and sizes to your table, while keeping everything accessible to all guests.
Invite Your Guests
And finally, let’s talk about the guest list. When it comes to brunch, the more the merrier! Invite your closest friends, family, and maybe even a new neighbor or two. Brunch is the perfect opportunity to catch up with loved ones and make new connections over delicious food and drinks.
I have been hosting “Brunch & Bible Study” for our college aged kids every weekend for the last several weeks. Everyone enjoys the fellowship and food. Once we finish eating, we are energized and ready to open the Word together. It has been a fruitful time, literally & figuratively!
Set Your Brunch Apart
One hosting tip for making your brunch stand out above the rest is this: pay thoughtful attention to detail.
Try personalizing name cards for your guests’ place settings or labeling your items with cute labels from the craft store.
Get my free Brunch Blessings printable cards with you here!
Once you have cut the Brunch Blessing cards out (on cardstock preferably), place them with your place setting. For an extra feminine touch, you could tuck the card into your napkin with the silverware, add a small floral element, and tie some twine or cute ribbon around it all and lay it on the center of the plate!
Hosting brunch for a co-ed crowd? Another nice, more gender neutral place setting idea would be to place the utensils and napkin into a coffee mug, like this:
So there you have it, folks. The ultimate guide to brunching like a boss. Just remember, the key to hosting a successful brunch is to keep it fun, relaxed, and filled with good food and good company. Happy brunching!
I am so excited to be rolling out this first (of many, I hope) posts about all things thrifted! Welcome to “Thrift Shopping for Home Decor: Curated Treasures and How to Give them New Life”!
Thrifting: It’s What Brings Us Together Today
A fun fact about me- I had a really great little booth at an Antique Mall for a couple of years. I would flip thrifted finds and vintage items and I had a blast doing it! I have loved thrifting for as long as I can remember.
I have mentioned before that my husband and I work as missionaries, serving as houseparents in a residential care setting (basically like foster parenting, but with up to eight kids at a time). What I have not mentioned much is that we currently work with kids ages 18-21 who are in transition to adulthood and independent living.
Believe it or not, thrifting has been such a great outlet for connecting with these kids! We have been able to laugh together over some of the ridiculous things we’ve stumble across. We have even experienced some moments where kids find an item they had in their childhood and that prompts them to share a story with us we might not have heard otherwise. Plus, it is just super fun. And everyone likes to have fun!
Thrifting With a Mission
Today, we only had time to get to one store, but I was determined to make the most of it.
I am always looking for a few staple items when thrifting. Here is my “Thrifting Must-Looks” cheat sheet. Feel free to save it and use on your next thrifting adventure!
These staples are basically every thrifters dream. You can’t go wrong with them. I love that feeling I get when I go in and find exactly what I’m looking for. I get all giddy like a child on Christmas morning!
Today Was a Fairytale
What I Bought
(Sorry, not sorry for the T-Swift reference in the heading there.)
We may have only been able to shop at one store, but I hit the jackpot! I spent less than $30 and got a whole buggy (aka shopping cart for you non-Southern folk) filled with goodies. I couldn’t wait to get them home to style them.
Without further ado, allow me to share with you my finds!
Okay, let me lay out the goods for ya:
One large woven basket (the perfect depth and in great shape)
A set of SEVEN flat weave baskets
One large and very sturdy flat weave basket/tray
A set of two small maroon serving dishes that say “simply grateful”
One wood-grain looking, ceramic candle warmer with timer settings (4hr, 8hr, 12hr, and “ON”)
A set of two brown and black, tribal printed trinket dishes
A set of two cement planters with succulents
A small succulent in round cement planter
A terracotta and cream colored handmade mug
A black wall shelf with hooks
A pink stone vase
A bathtub tray!
ALL OF THESE IN ONE STORE IN UNDER AN HOUR!? I hope you are as excited about this as I am! #miracleshappeny’all
How I Styled It
This woven basket is a perfect addition to our guest bed! We already have a tray with a candle and book on the desk in the guest room, but this allows us to add a little something extra decor wise, and hospitality wise!
This bathtub tray was one of my favorite finds. Less than $5 for this thing and it is in perfect condition! It had dove-tail edging, so it is excellent quality and very sturdy.
Hear me out: those “simply grateful” serving dishes will be so cute to serve cranberry sauce and butter on at Thanksgiving!
The handmade mug (and in fall colors, no less) is ideal. Who doesn’t love art that someone else made? Especially when it holds coffee.
The little trinket dishes were too unique to pass up. No idea what I will do with them yet, but I will figure it out!
I was way too excited about this candle warmer, but how cute is it? It looks like wood, but is actually porcelain and has a timer with various settings. I grabbed the first candle I could find in my kitchen to put on there. Maple & Cream Latte for the win!
The pink stone vase is giving a rose quartz type of vibe and I love a good pinky neutral. I will probably move it to the guest room, but. for now I love it styled on this tray on my kitchen counter!
Finally, this flat weave basket tray. I am in love with this thing. It is so versatile. For now, it is styled as a tray on my kitchen counter, but I could easily use it as a serving tray, a wall hanging basket, and more!
That’s All, Folks!
That is all I have to share with you now, but stay tuned to see how I style the rest of the items! I am thinking:
The wall shelf with hooks can be used in my kitchen to hold measuring spoons
The two matching succulent planters would make adorable book ends
The set of 7 flat woven baskets will be so cute as charger plates when I host!
I would love to see all of your thrifted finds! Tag me on insta or send me an email- [email protected]!
Communing with God is a vital aspect of our spiritual life. We set aside intentional pockets of time to connect with Him. We steal away to our cultivated sacred spaces where we quiet the voices of our world to press in and listen for Him to speak. Communion with God in the “Secret Place” gives reference to Psalm 91:1.
1 He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall remain stable and fixed under the shadow of the Almighty [Whose power no foe can withstand].
The “Secret Place” is a term many use to describe the time we spend alone with God. The relational realm where we can pour out our hearts to Him, listen to His voice, and receive guidance and direction, rebuke & reconciliation.
The Secret Place is not a physical location, but rather a location cultivated in the spiritual realm around us. It is a place of intimacy. A place where we can be vulnerable and transparent with God, leaving nothing hidden or unsaid. Sacred space where we can lay down our burdens and find rest. The place where we can receive deep healing, comfort, and peace.
The Worshipful Act of Intention
Simply put, communion with God in the Secret Place requires time spent intentionally with Him. We live in a busy world, and it’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life. Prioritizing our relationship with God, however, is essential and should be one of those daily “non-negotiables”.
There is no life in us apart from Him. He is the vine, we are the branches (John 15). Neglecting to spend time in His Presence or in His Word would be like neglecting to eat. We may make it a few hours, a few days, etc., but our physical bodies will pay a price. We will be starving, hangry, irritable, exhausted, etc. But it won’t necessarily cause us to stop living… immediately.
In the same way, just as starvation can eventually lead to physical death, neglecting time in the Secret Place can lead to a sort of spiritual death. When we neglect that set apart time, our faith suffers. Our ability to press on in the hard moments begins to fade. Attitudes suffer, our joy dissipates, and we trap ourselves under the crushing weight of the burdens we allow ourselves to accumulate.
Eventually, we stop relying on Him altogether. We simply forget that we can lay our heavy burdens down and pickup His instead; a yoke that is easy to bear and a burden that is light (Matt. 11:30). All the while, He never stops showing up. He is always ready and willing, so why aren’t we?
Purposeful Priorities
I’ve heard it taught before that, proper priorities look something like: God first, family second, career third. I think there is some definite truth to this hierarchy, though I would tweak it ever so slightly. I would write it as: God first, spouse second, children third, career fourth. I would also add a little asterisk (*) between God first and * spouse second that has a footnote reading “* In some cases, putting yourself before your spouse is more important.”
This is not a license to be selfish and put your needs above theirs. Rather, this is to say that “you cannot pour from an empty cup”. You need to come and fill your soul first (at the well that never runs dry) so that you can have something to pour into your spouse, kids, and career.
Obedience & Watchfulness
Once we become so acutely aware of our need for making time with Him, we must be faithful to show up. Obedience is the first step to hearing His voice. You can read ALL about this concept of obedience as the first step in Priscilla Shirer’s study “Discerning the Voice of God“. Obedience leads to discipline. Discipline leads to consistency.
When we step into that sacred, set-apart space, we can begin to focus on fostering intimacy with God. (Intimacy meaning a relationship where both parties are deeply connected to one another.) It is in this secret place where chains fall off, identity is restored, and revelation is revealed. This proves that the Secret Place, where we commune with God, is a space worth fighting for.
We can be certain that dwelling with Him in the Secret Place will give us direct access to freedom, one hundred percent of the time (2 Corinthians 3:17). Because of that liberating power, the enemy will stop at NOTHING to keep us too busy, too distracted, or too lazy to be consistent. Satan does not want us free. He wants us broken, beaten, tired, and worn down. What more strategic way for the “father of lies” to ensnare us than to convince us that we don’t have time to enter the Secret Place?
Consistant Communion
Communing with God in the Secret Place is not a one-time event, but rather a lifestyle, requiring discipline, intentionality, and honestly, spiritual warfare. As we make a habit of coming into His Presence, we will find that our relationship with Him deepens, and we become more in tune with His voice (John 10:14, 27-28). Subsequently, we may also find we experience more spiritual attack, oppression, and doubt. This is all futile attempts of the devil to thwart our pursuit of the Prince of Peace.
Cultivating Quiet
As we make it a priority in our lives, we will find that our relationship with God becomes richer and more fulfilling. The blessings will become immeasurable and our lives will be flooded with the peace that passes all understanding (Phil. 4:7). So what does it look like to cultivate sacred space and enter the Secret Place? Here are a few ideas:
The Where
First things first: find a quiet spot where you won’t be disturbed. If that’s impossible, grab some noise-cancelling headphones and a “Do Not Disturb” sign – you’re gonna need ’em. Maybe you want to create your own war room, (just like in the movie War Room!)
Get comfortable. Whether it’s a cozy chair, a soft blanket, or a pile of cushions, make sure you’re relaxed and at ease. I like to light a candle and grab a soft blanket to snuggle up with.
The How
Start with a prayer. Ask God to join you in the “Secret Place” and to reveal His presence to you. I like to pray using the “P.R.A.Y” acronym. P– praise God for who He is, R– repent of sin, A– ask for His provision, to supply all of your needs, and to answer your prayer requests, and Y– Yield to the Lord. Wait on Him, and trust that all of His promises are “Yes & Amen”. Wait in confidence knowing that He answers all prayers. If the answer is yes, have confidence knowing that your request aligns to His will. If it is a “no” or “not yet”, have faith that His timing is perfect and His ways are higher and greater.
Take a deep breath and let go of all your worries and distractions. Imagine them floating away like confetti, leaving you feeling light and free (and if you love confetti as much as I do, joyful!)
Engage in different spiritual disciplines. Read your Bible, sing worship songs, or simply sit in silence and listen for His voice. Whatever works for you! This time doesn’t have to look any certain way. It is a heart to Heart, spirit to Spirit interaction between you and The Lord.
A Holy Longing for Us to Commune with God in the Secret Place
Don’t be afraid to be yourself. God loves your quirks and your sense of humor- He wrote them into your DNA. So go ahead and crack a joke or two – He’s got a great sense of humor! Finally, remember that the “Secret Place” is not an invitation-only space. It’s a 24/7 access point and nothing/no one can ever close the door.
Wholly Healthy
Just as in any relationship, it is important to be emotionally healthy when pursuing deeper intimacy with God. Self-awareness is required. Identifying blind spots and other areas of growth are important so we make healthy associations about what we discover in the Secret Place with the Truth of the Word and who He is/what He is saying.
Read more about this important topic in another one of my posts, here.
Final Thoughts
In closing, I just want to encourage you.
God loves you so much. I hope you can read those words and receive that. He loves you SO much, he thought you were worth dying for. He made the decision to send his Son to the world, to die on the cross for every single sin you and I would ever commit, transcendently. He exists outside of space and time. He IS the beginning and the end. He sees it all outside of our finite, linear perspective.
When we honor Him by communing with God in the Secret place, His heart overflows for us. When we are actively engaging our most secret and rebellious sins, His heart overflows for us. That is unconditional love. It is unfathomable. It is unreal. Yet, it is completely true and accessible.
Here are a few Truth-filled reminders to encourage you as you embark on your journey to the Secret Place:
The Word never returns void, so you can’t go wrong by reading scripture (Isaiah 55:11).
When you believe the Holy Spirit is speaking to you, remember to test the spirits and discern what is truly from God (1 John 4:1-6).
If you are uncertain of something or struggling to understand, always reach out to a trusted mentor, pastor, or spiritually wise friend who can help.
So what are you waiting for? Grab a cup of coffee, a pen, and your Bible, and head into the Secret Place!
My prayer is that you will find hope and comfort in this deep dive- How To Connect With God: A Biblical and Psychological Perspective. May the Lord reveal Himself to you, granting you wisdom through revelation by the power of the Holy Spirit.
A Divine Connection
For centuries, people have sought to understand and connect with God, the Divine.
In the Old Testament, we read stories of people crying out to God as they seek to overcome the insurmountable. We read accounts of Him showing up in burning bushes and parting seas. Sending warnings and ushering in judgment.
In the New Testament, we read several different accounts of the same gospel. Stories about those who traveled miles and miles to see Jesus- some just to touch the hem of his garment. We read of His humanness, how he hungered and wept. Unexpectedly arriving in complete humility, ushering in grace and tearing the veil.
We can see all over the pages of Scripture His desire to connect with His creation, and more specifically, with His people. Considering all of this, it is safe to say that humanity hungers for connection with God and He desires to commune with us. If we believe this to be true, why is it so difficult sometimes?
Connection Vs. Correction
As human beings, our brains associate everything with something else. Do you remember playing that old “association” game in elementary school? Your teacher would say a word and ask you to respond with the first thing that comes to mind? There it is- association!
In fact, our hippocampus does this as a full-time job. Nerve cells in the hippocampus are constantly creating new associations in our brains, like a new friend and her name. (It is all really quite fascinating. Read more here!) With this in mind, doesn’t it make sense, then, that we would make associations about God?
Lets revisit that elementary game mentioned above. I am going to say a word, and I want you to truly just stop and think of the first thing that comes to mind. Ready?
Jesus
Holy Spirit
God
Now be honest, did you associate any of those with “Father”? I am going to assume many of you reading this did. I promise there is a method to my madness here, so even if you didn’t make this particular association, just follow along.
Let’s play the game one more time. This time, the word is “Father“.
What did you think of?
This is where things are going to start to get really eye-opening, friends.
The Role of Father
For many in today’s world, the word “father” may be negatively associated. Working full-time with kids who have grown up in our home (a residential group home), I have seen this play out firsthand. Even for those who have had a wonderful example of of a Father, there can still be associations made with this term that are not synonymously true about Abba Father, God.
To truly connect with God according to His perfect design, we must get outside of our associations. Once more, we see the importance on what is written in Romans 12:2.
2 Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.
Maintaining a constant awareness of our thoughts is vital. We must be self-aware, disciplined, and emotionally intelligent enough to remind ourselves that our thoughts, on their own, are influenced by feeling and emotion. Emotion from the heart. The heart, influenced by the flesh. (More about that here if you want more info!) We must take every thought captive, as stated in 2 Corinthians 10:4-5. We must be in control.
Thoughts taken captive = Disciplined, Holy Spirit-powered, aligned to the mind of Christ (2 Co. 10:4-5, 1 Co. 2:16, Phil. 4:8, Isaiah 55:8-9)
Defeating the Flesh
Going against our flesh is one of the hardest things to do. Especially in a world that preaches “live your truth” and “do what feels right”. But, if we keep going in this direction, we could very well become another Sodom and Gomorrah! Big yikes, friends. BIGyikes. Read Genesis 19 for more insight into that mess. You’ll find that much of it feels all too familiar.
Additionally, in living enslaved to the appetites of our flesh, we miss out on God’s best for us.
Romans 8:6-8 says:
Now the mindset of the flesh is death, but the mindset of the Spirit is life and peace. 7 The mindset of the flesh is hostile to God because it does not submit to God’s law. Indeed, it is unable to do so. 8 Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.
There is so much hope in three verses that come next:
You, however, are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. If anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to him. 10 Now if Christ is in you, the body is dead because of sin, but the Spirit gives life because of righteousness. 11 And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead lives in you, then he who raised Christ from the dead will also bring your mortal bodies to life through his Spirit who lives in you.
Romans 8:9-11
There is life in abundance to be found in Jesus. Pressing in, doing the hard work, and remaining steadfast will undoubtedly pay off. He is faithful and has promised to provide a way out of temptations (1 Co. 10:13). He will sustain us (Psalm 55:22). He will protect us from the schemes of the evil one (2 Thess. 3:3). He will fight on our behalf, we need only to be still (Exodus 14:14) and meditate regularly on His Word (Josh. 1:8)
Rewiring Thought Patterns
I’ve heard it said “neurons that fire together, wire together.” For the children I work with, we focus a lot of our time, energy, and resources on helping them to heal. One of the many interventions we utilize for that purpose is therapy. Specifically CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing), and Neurofeedback.
Each of these interventions help the individual to rewire those neural pathways in varying capacities. It is completely understandable why someone who has experienced trauma would benefit from these techniques. In fact, I would say outside of immediate physical medical treatment, therapies (like those listed above) are the first line of defense for many when seeking a path to healing from trauma.
Trauma Explained
What is a trauma, anyway? Our brains tell us (by association) that trauma is snonymous with “bad things” that happen. to us. That is definitely true, but the definition can be simplified.
Per the Oxford Dictionary, trauma is defined as a deeply distressing or disturbing experience.
Natural disasters, losing loved ones, experiencing a car accident- these are all definable traumas. For a small child, though, trauma can look as innocent as taking a wrong step and falling on a familiar playground unexpectedly.
We must take into account that everyone’s experience of what is “deeply distressing or disturbing”will be different. We all have thresholds of what we can tolerate. For some, that threshold is much lower than others.
Let’s look at these facts from a slightly different perspective.
The Power of Biblical Transformation
This might seem like a stretch at first, but I would consider the experience of suffering the consequences of sin, spiritually traumatic. The idea of spending an eternity in Hell is certainly “deeply disturbing and distressing”, even though I know it is what I deserve.
Think about it. We would never tell someone who has just experienced a major trauma that they deserve it, right? Who would do that?
But the reality of our sin is that we do deserve death (Romans 6:23).
Sin separates us from God. Listen to me, y’all. Lean in real close for this one:
OUR DESPERATE NEED FOR THE SAVING GRACE OF A SAVIOR IS JUST AS DIRE AS SOMEONES NEED FOR PROFESSIONAL INTERVENTIONS AFTER EXPERIENCING TRAUMA.
Arguably, our need for a perfect and sinless Savior is far more dire than the need for finite, human-offered healing.
This might not “hit you in the feels” the same way that discussing more traditional ideas of trauma & healing does. (Thanks to our associations and our desensitization.) But if you think about it logically, it makes sense.
The Connection Point: Mind, Body & Spirit
When someone experiences a trauma mentally/emotionally, their neurons misfire. Healing comes when therapeutic interventions allow for the individual to essentially relive the trauma, process it appropriately, and replace the negative associations. This can result in reconstructed or rewired neural pathways, and more tangible benefits, like reduced anxiety/depression.
Similarly, when someone experiences a trauma physically, they may break a bone or require stitches. In these instances, they will seek medical treatment or First-Aid, right?
From this same perspective, sin is the spiritual trauma we suffer. Jesus, The Word made flesh, is the only possible path to healing. To heal spiritually, we have to cauterize the gaping wound of sin by coming to salvation in Christ. From there, we rehab the injury by reading The Word and by (you guessed it), being transformed by the renewing of our minds.
Communing with God and staying connected to biblical community could be considered the post-injury lifestyle modifications (for purposes of this analogy.)
Once we’ve experienced such trauma (sin) we will develop a natural vigilance, watching cautiously for the flaming arrows of the enemy and the snares of sin in the future. When we are aware of the trauma (sin), we have a new perspective and cultivated awareness of what the initial experience of sin felt like. We will make it our subconscious mission, then, to warn others who are about to fall victim to the same traumatic injury, helping them avoid the pain of what we suffered through.
It would seem foolish for us to say “physical health is the only aspect that matters” when we know we also have minds that need tending to. Why, then, are we so desensitized to our need for soul care when we know we are all three: mind, body, and soul (1 Thess. 5:23)?
Attending church weekly or asking for prayer when times are hard are simply not enough. Just reading a one page daily devotions is not enough. We need so much more than some eloquent words of encouragement peppered with Bible verses. (Please don’t be offended by that.. I am not knocking these things– I love a good daily devo and am a blogger for goodness sake! I love encouraging words!)
It would be like living on fruit alone; delicious, full of nutrients, and imperative. But, not enough to sustain us alone. We need protein to strengthen us and healthy fats to satiate us. I am simply saying that we need a feast. The only place to get all three macronutrients in a spiritual sense, is the Word of God. We could survive on the fruit between meals, but for optimal health, balance is key, right?
Reactive vs. Proactive Approaches to Healing
That brings me to this idea of reactive vs. proactive approaches to healing. Over the last several years, I have learned more and more about the differences between traditional medicine and functional medicine. My family started seeing functional medicine providers years ago when we realized that the goal of this approach is finding the root cause of ailments and disease.
Reactive healing is more about addressing the immediate symptoms and remedying those to bring relief.
Please hear me when I say, neither approach is “better” than the other. Both are necessary and have a place. I believe both are a byproduct of the mercy of God.
Reactive Healing
Regarding trauma, a reactive approach is always going to be required first. Whether physical, mental, or spiritual, we have to essentially “make the pain stop” before we can dig in and find the root issue.
Physical
For example, someone unaware they are suffering with cancer may not know the stage or the cause. They do know, however, that something is painful or off in their physical body. Enough that is cause for concern. They visit a doctor to receive medication or fluids. The doctor may then order some sort of scans or imaging. From there results, the patient may then receive a referal to a specialist if necessary.
The first line of defense- treat the pain. Manage the symptoms. A temporary “bandage” of sorts, until a cause is identified.
Mental
Mentally, the same idea applies.
For example: A child is severely neglected and abused. Authorities are aware. The first step? Removing the child from danger, meeting the immediate needs (clothing, food, shelter, safety). Later, therapies and other resources can be utilized.
The first line of defense- Meet the immediate needs. Manage the symptoms.
Spiritual
So what does a reactive approach to healing spiritual trauma (sin) look like? Well, it can look like a lot of things.
An old professor of mine from college, Dr. Tom Bergler, used to passionately shout “Getting you fire insurance card isn’t enough!”
Asking Jesus into your heart is the first step, but there has to be more that follows, right?
Let me VERY clear here: I firmly believe that Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through Him! (John 14:6). Jesus is ALWAYS enough. More than enough. In fact, if we have Jesus and nothing else, we truly have everything. I am not (and could never) say that salvation isn’t enough. I believe that, once we are truly born again (which is accompanied by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. A direct result of receiving salvation– being covered by the blood of Jesus, believing wholly in his crucifixion and resurrection, certain of His awaited return), NOTHING can separate us from Him (Romans 8:38-39).
I am saying, however, that if we just stop there, we are only putting a tourniquet on a severed limb and expecting it to heal on its own.
For Born Again Believers
For one who is already a born again believer, this could look like diving into the Word “after the fact”.
Take a look at this example. A mother goes to tuck her sick child in at bedtime. The child asks “Mommy, did Jesus really heal sick people?” The mother replies with confidence “He absolutely did!” The child then replies “Will you tell me one of the stories?”
The mother smiles and prepares to start telling the story, when suddenly, she realizes “Oh no, I can’t think of one!” The mother then realizes that she has heard references to these stories for years about Jesus as the healer. She knows them to be real and Jesus as the Healer is a foundational truth she relies on.
It then occurs to her “Perhaps I should read these stories for myself, directly from the Word, instead of relying on those around me to teach me.”
Oof. Y’all. This is a real thing! We have all been here, right?
Proactive Healing in the Spirit
So what does Proactive healing look like from a spiritual perspective? Proactive healing is preventative healing.
Spiritually speaking, then, I think the answer is simple. Jesus, The Word made flesh, is the only possible path to healing. To prevent trauma (sin) from reoccurring or becoming triggering, we must take preventative measures to combat it. We must:
Amazingly, he is the answer to both reactive and proactive healing. The way, the truth, and the life.
Uprooting the Old
We must discipline ourselves to be in a daily rhythm, feasting on the Word, allowing it to take root. When we know the Word, we live by the Word. We cultivate wisdom and set ourselves up to succeed. A “from the ground up” approach of sorts.
In doing this, we begin to proactively stand firm on the unshakeable foundation that is Jesus.
I love David’s heart cry in Psalm 139 23:24. He prays:
Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns. 24 See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way.
The movie The Shack also shows this process of being transformed and sanctified beautifully. The character, who depicts the Holy Spirit, is a gardener. Together, the gardener and main character go and tend to his garden (the garden of his heart).
The metaphors, as you can imagine, are plentiful. Some things grow beautifully and bear much fruit. Sometimes, weeds grow and try to choke out the good growth. The thorns and thistles must always be removed from the root.
This brings us full circle.
Humble Awareness
We need to be aware that we are broken people with broken perspectives. We have spent our entire lives learning and associating things around us with experiences and individuals, both positive and negative.
Now, we must learn to increase our self-awareness, surrender our pride, and unlearn the things that have been associated incorrectly.
To truly connect with God, we need to start untangling the associations we have made. Those that connect our infinite and transcendent God to our finite and immanent experiences. And those that connect our immanent and omnipresent God with what is out of reach and absent.
We must know, that we know, that we know, that we simply do not know. **brain freezes & eye twitches**
From there, we must proactively be preparing, feasting, studying, meditating, and living the Word of God.
Conclusion
Like healing in the bones, we must be further broken down, so that we may be built back up better and stronger.
We must seek to pursue Him proactively, like an apprentice to a master. May the things we have associated with God be restored to health. May He mercifully draw near to us and teach us the reality of who He is a little bit more everyday.
If you’ve followed my many thoughts and made it to this point, thank you! I hope you feel that this has been worth your time. Blessings as you continue down your own path of becoming more like Him.
Losing a child is, without a doubt, one of the most difficult experiences a person can go through. Dealing with miscarriage as a Christian is a subject not commonly discussed in our churches or social circles. The lack of conversation around this topic can make for an incredibly lonely season of grief. Feeling like no one understands what we are going through leads to hopelessness and depression.
My husband and I have battled the pains of infertility for the last eight years. In summer 2023, we miscarried our first child at five weeks. Losing our sweet baby, Easton Beck Finnegan, caused us to experience a rollercoaster of emotions.
The waves of grief surrounding miscarriage are like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. As Christians, it can be challenging to reconcile feelings of grief and disappointment with a belief in God’s plan for our lives. However cliché it may sound, there really are ways to find comfort and peace during this difficult time.
Steps for Dealing with Miscarriage as a Christian
Step One
The first step is giving yourself permission to grieve. Grief can be so painfully debilitating. Our bodies and brains want to go numb as a form of self-protection. I want you to know that not only is it okay to feel, it is necessary. Sadness, anger, and confusion feel different in the wake of a miscarriage. Give yourself permission to feel these emotions and express them in healthy ways, like talking to a trusted friend or counselor, journaling, or praying.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve. For us, the first step towards healing was giving our baby a name that has meaning. We chose Easton Beck for these reasons:
“East”- The direction the sun rises in. Sunrises have always captivated me, reminding me of God’s new mercies daily and reflecting the light of His glory. “Ton” is short for “Tony”, or “Anthony”, in honor of my Papaw who is the best man I’ve ever known.
“Beck” means “by the peaceful/still waters” which reminds us of Psalm 23:
The Lord is my Shepherd [to feed, to guide and to shield me], I shall not want. 2 He lets me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still and quiet waters. 3 He refreshes and restores my soul (life); He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. 4 Even though I walk through the [sunless] valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod [to protect] and Your staff [to guide], they comfort and console me. 5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You have anointed and refreshed my head with oil; My cup overflows. 6 Surely goodness and mercy and unfailing love shall follow me all the days of my life, And I shall dwell forever [throughout all my days] in the house and in the presence of the Lord.
Psalm 23 (AMP)
When I read this Psalm, I picture a beautiful scene in my mind. The sound of still waters and beauty of rolling hills in green pastures. It brings me peace to envision sitting there with my baby in my arms, the light of His glory shining on me. The warmth of His embrace like the warmth of the sun. I believe I will live this vision out when I cross into eternity. I cling to this hope. One day, I will hold my baby in my arms, but until then I am comforted knowing that the One who holds me is holding Easton, safe and sound, until my arrival.
That is how I am personally dealing with miscarriage as a Christian.
Step Two
Walking hand-in-hand with Jesus in this time is essential. God is with us in our pain, and He understands our heartache. He understands every aspect of our humanness. I find great comfort in knowing that, in taking on flesh, Jesus knows exactly how it feels to be human. He has experienced grief, hunger, exhaustion, and joy. In fact, he has experienced more of the human experience than I have- death. Through it all, he never sinned. Instead, He modeled how we should handle those human experiences.
The Word says that he is able to sympathize with our humanness. He is not afraid of our big feelings or our depressive thoughts. Instead, he weeps with us. With the perfect and loving heart of the Father, he holds space for us and embraces us.
For we do not have a High Priest who is unable to sympathize and understand our weaknesses and temptations, but One who has been tempted [knowing exactly how it feels to be human] in every respect as we are, yet without [committing any] sin.
Hebrews 4:15 AMP
Turn to Him in prayer, and seek comfort in His promises of hope and healing. Find solace in passages like the one above. Similarly, Psalm 34:18 brings comfort:
“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
He is faithful. He is waiting for us to invite Him into our pain. All we have to do is turn our eyes toward Him.
Step Three
Finally, seek support from your community. Talk to other believers who have gone through similar experiences, and lean on your church family for comfort and encouragement. Don’t be afraid to ask for help or accept offers of support, whether it’s a meal, a listening ear, or a shoulder to cry on.
The need for community is a major piece of our hardwiring. We were not meant to do life alone. A strong support system can make all the difference in the midst of chaotic situations. The quality of those who make up our community is much more important than the quantity of people.
When looking for those trusted people, you really want to look for individuals who are emotionally healthy. When we invite people into our “stuff”, it is easy for the “stuff” in others to be triggered or provoked. In times of grief, we (as believers, especially) really need people who can speak wisdom and truth. When we are in a state of being triggered, we are not able to be fully available emotionally.
Additionally, who you surround yourself with matters biblically (Prov. 17:17, 18:24). Those friends who are more like family are the ones you can count on to bear your burdens with you. They are the ones who will pray for you, show up for you, and won’t let you walk this road of grief alone.
“People tend to believe that grief shrinks over time. What really happens is that we grow around our grief.”
Remember that healing takes time, and the road is not always linear. Your pain may never go away, but with time, you can find peace and hope for the future. Developing a daily rhythm of prayer is a great way to center yourself everyday. Preparing ahead is not only smart, it is biblically wise. (More on that here). Dealing with miscarriage as a Christian requires our communion with God. If you are looking for ways to incorporate prayer into your daily routine, check out my previous post here.
Allow yourself to grieve, lean on God, and seek support from those around you. Remember that you are not alone. Praise God for the hope we have in Jesus. One day, you too, mama, will be reunited with your baby in Heaven. Until then, we will walk through the pain together. One day at a time.
Hey friend! Molly here. Just think of me as a Tennessee troubadour with a heart as big as Dolly’s hair. Serenading souls, one note at a time. Crafting, gardening, baking, and spreading the good word about Jesus in between. Proud wife, dog mom, foster mom to several, and forever momma to baby Easton in Heaven. Lover of laughter, healthy boundaries, and songs that make you feel something. Read more about my story here.
